Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Dear God,
Patience is indeed a virtue. I remember those times i felt confused, surprised, shocked and perhaps a little afraid. I hated to admit the way i felt; i didn't want to believe it. I didn't like to think trivial matters had to affect me, I didn't want to think they existed. No matter how much I engulfed myself in ignorance, there came a point of time that I knew that I could hide no longer. Repetition seemed to be your style of augmentation. You made surprises stepping stones to those answers i was looking for. It has not been very long, but enough to form significant mental clots in your mind. Though easily overcome by the will, without you God, that mustered strength could have never came about.
Yesterday God, I finally realised; I finally saw all those things as Your big plan. Those answers came crashing down at me all at once. The uncertainties, the manipulations... they finally made sense. However God, it wasn't so much those answers You have given me that I am so thankful for. Somehow deep inside, I feel You have even more to tell me, that there's even more for me to unravel.
What that brought me to tears inside was how You had been been by my side all along; how you so meticulously planned out each step and carved out this wonderful pathway for me these years. It is simply amazing; I feel myself a notch closer to understanding Your plan as one of an eternal timeframe. Even though I am just one of Your many children, You took effort to plan out even such small details of my life. Yes, perhaps that matter is insignificant, but God, Your care for me on even such insignificant things really touched me deep inside. You guided and are still guiding me through even the meagers (i don't what word to use here, they are not problems, nor setbacks, just experiences), and God today I proclaim to you with all my heart my trust in You to guide me through my entire journey of this beautiful life You've planned out for me.
Amen.
10:33 PM
Friday, July 13, 2007
i'm so tired i don't even have strength to think. these few weeks taught me how inspirations wouldn't materialize without strength and it has been rather disappointing. too tired to elaborate. goodnight world may not blog in a while. though i really wonder how many people actually read my entries
zZ
9:42 PM
Monday, July 02, 2007
just spoke to mich on the phone and gosh i swear i've never heard such a ridiculous thing in my life! haha!
3:58 PM
i really want to blog tonight, but my internet's malfunctioning. hence i decided to type it down... and i am now. time: 240am, date: 29th June 2007
firstly, updates on blocks.
econs: no comments. i got 8th percentile for my CA as of college ranking system, so that spells my foundation
math: i spent close to an hour on question 2i, which is a 2 mark question. it was a 3h paper
chem: comparisons after the paper comfirmed a fail for MCQ. i hope i pass overall
bio: uncomplete, may be worse than econs
minus the bio paper, and the extremely unecessary implications of the overly conventional and annoying paranoia of some undeserving unamed unfamed unfettered(which do NOT spell reasons btw) oddballs, today was a truly wWonderful(no typo) day. though beneath the Goodness there always lies reticence, determination, chagrined confusions, and lack of confidence, we know that Goodness ultimately retains sovereignity, because Goodness is eternal, lasting and incredibly amazing.
but sometimes, how bitterly paradoxical, Goodness, the accessibility and facileness it couples with, is not so easy to accept.
and friendship! alas, the most wonderful relationship ever Created in this world.
He is mighty to save!
3:10 PM
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